Tuesday, June 30, 2009


for what we place in confidence unto others, we take upon ourselves in fear. when we leave our place of want, of need, of position, how it is we ever return is beyond our means. there is no place worth more than what you are taken from, no place of comfort or value or content which could replace or improve upon what is lost.

the sadness in leaving is comparable to a child's tears, his inability to understand is not so much his fault, but his obligation. the simple logic of reaction, modified for any situation. if i were to leave my son, his inability to understand would not be my only wrongdoing, but it would be all that i cared for.

there is a sadness in life, i never knew existed, until today. to face your fate, as deemed by a society who could care less, this would not be easy to explain to my son. what do i tell a boy without the ability to understand, when i, as a man and his father, can neither understand?

sadly, he will only be able to learn for himself, and learn too late.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


There is a common ground, a sociable place in which we meet, though our tasks and trials take us far away. Here we share the tips of our thoughts, the beginnings of our love, ultimately a memory we have repeated to ourselves for the past two years. How is it a gift can bring so much indifference? Keeping ourselves from this place of joy, and love? What is it we ourselves are missing?

I wish to go places, to disappear at a moment's notice and perhaps not return so quickly. Or maybe just to become bored, to grow weary of what was not as it should have been, and return to a girl who knew only as much as I did. And I hate the response, "nothing".

Who knows what she wishes for? There are sparks of joy and fulfilling moments, but what seems to last anymore? I will most likely never realize the answer to this.

Saturday, June 20, 2009


The option, to choose between one or the other, defeats the purpose in either. The adversary, who cares not for your strengths, hones upon your weaknesses and prepares himself for the following confrontation, as you have yet to fall. Where is the choice? What is the choice? Does money allow for decision? Does law enable rights of opinion? Hardly so, I shall attest to this. This world is an allotment of love and loss, a social configuration built with perpindicular understanding. Needs and wants, desires and dreams have no place in the realm of success, of 'survival'. I fear I will not survive, and to think, I was never a fearing man.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Here is a man, accomplished, to some degree, and silent for sake of the law.
Bent upon his points, his reasoning's, his immaturity,
he drinks.
Coerces the woman who loves him
But cannot admit he indeed loves her.
The words he upholds and the actions he desires
lie upon paths of vintage dreams and imagination,
the bright city lights and the dull living room fireplaces.
Where is the wine, my dear? Where?
Where are you, upon some street corner, waiting,
or eagerly awaiting the messenger?
In forfeiture, I know. Dreams
are not what they once were, or were to be.
Six years changes so very much, and why shouldn't it?
The law arrived at my doorstep, I never told you,
I never wanted to hear you cry...
My efforts are not for sake of love, but preservation,
my life is but to escape living, and to embrace a love
I thought I was missing all along.
My passion is for the eloquence of perservation.