#19

My need for time and space directs anger and spite, for she wishes to help and she does. There is no worse regard on my part than for one who purposely takes advantage of another, at their own expense. I find it completely wrong, and invasive. While she remains her own person, her own foundation, for what purpose do I stand but to serve an interest, a wish, with heart and vigor? There is hardly excuse for others actions, but hate them is all I can do. I am waiting for the moment she questions herself, another, and I will have my way with the answer.

#18

i wish i could help her, she has shown me something i cannot recognize. she has no one near her, and what can i do?

#17

i am watching them,
a circle of men,
listening to their words,
as they whisper thoughts of politics,
the meaning of life,
and the rules of poetry...
i watch, interested,
or more correctly, perhaps,
intrigued,
though to imagine myself in that circle,
impossible.
Streamlined and proficient,
producing modern works of art en masse,
such professors of life,
though who ever knew of a teacher
with no students?
i know of one.
actually, i know a circle of them...22May05

#16

the concept of life.
from an ignorant population
a narrow minded individual
without religious associations
or understandings.
an opinion, as it should be
for if everyone agreed
there would be an absence
of achievement.
a token of purpose
exists as the morning,
an opportunity to obtain
to desire, to withhold
for sake of pursuit
of concept. 3aug09

#15

Relaxing...

#14

Life will never settle itself, supposing a direction and letting it be. What is there to want but I cannot have? Just her.

#13

This girl, wearing a white dress, has demanded my attention, suddenly...

#11

I see my death unfolding,
My killer, without remorse,
His eyes, holding mine without purpose,
His ears, they observe my stupid silence,
His words, focused beyond
The situation at hand.
He will kill without reason,
For his mind is far from mine...
My love, my children, safe and away,
How it is I passed with your memories
Allowing me peace, sorrow, and desire.

#10

There is a residual calm, coming over oneself when they have achieved the unethical, not necessarily the "impossible". To do something you never thought possible is, surely, the foundation of things impossible, but to do something you never thought you were capable of is to address the ethics behind it all. I have never figured myself to be one to love without reason, without meaning, but what do words and poetic promises carry when there is nothing to see or hold? One can only last so long without being able to embrace what they long for, and unfortunately, they can never last long enough. God ensures that we understand what we love or hate before ripping us from either, though we may not be able to directly associate these at the time. Our opinions are often formed from the inside looking out, when we are least capable of making them....life is not poetry, no, but our reactions to what we encounter in life surely are...

#9

What does it mean to understand? To accept what life is, for what it will not be? Desire ruins the progress of a man, the motives of an individual. I refuse to hope for, to strive, to compromise with the obstacles placed before me. I came to understand there is no one worthy of my trust, and this is the meaning I have been searching for my entire life.

#8

Clearly she is confused. Her poetry was once epic, without reason, and her motions flawless, for sake of purpose. The garden flourished at our backs as we discussed romantic notions and destiny. Her presence is centered, as it once was, though upon notions I was never able to understand. My thoughts were concerned for nothing but a ring, which she promptly returned. I lost something far greater than purpose that night...

#7

Exhausted

Moments of peace.

#6

There is just one effect, one reason, for which I cannot hold ground, cannot be centered upon myself. She does not ask for secrets, and she questions my intent. Day after day, we forge ahead against a cruel and careless world, a world of wonder and question. She ought to know I believe in her, my love is nowhere else.

#5

for what we place in confidence unto others, we take upon ourselves in fear. when we leave our place of want, of need, of position, how it is we ever return is beyond our means. there is no place worth more than what you are taken from, no place of comfort or value or content which could replace or improve upon what is lost.

the sadness in leaving is comparable to a child's tears, his inability to understand is not so much his fault, but his obligation. the simple logic of reaction, modified for any situation. if i were to leave my son, his inability to understand would not be my only wrongdoing, but it would be all that i cared for.

there is a sadness in life, i never knew existed, until today. to face your fate, as deemed by a society who could care less, this would not be easy to explain to my son. what do i tell a boy without the ability to understand, when i, as a man and his father, can neither understand?

sadly, he will only be able to learn for himself, and learn too late.

#4

There is a common ground, a sociable place in which we meet, though our tasks and trials take us far away. Here we share the tips of our thoughts, the beginnings of our love, ultimately a memory we have repeated to ourselves for the past two years. How is it a gift can bring so much indifference? Keeping ourselves from this place of joy, and love? What is it we ourselves are missing?

I wish to go places, to disappear at a moment's notice and perhaps not return so quickly. Or maybe just to become bored, to grow weary of what was not as it should have been, and return to a girl who knew only as much as I did. And I hate the response, "nothing".

Who knows what she wishes for? There are sparks of joy and fulfilling moments, but what seems to last anymore? I will most likely never realize the answer to this.

#3

The option, to choose between one or the other, defeats the purpose in either. The adversary, who cares not for your strengths, hones upon your weaknesses and prepares himself for the following confrontation, as you have yet to fall. Where is the choice? What is the choice? Does money allow for decision? Does law enable rights of opinion? Hardly so, I shall attest to this. This world is an allotment of love and loss, a social configuration built with perpindicular understanding. Needs and wants, desires and dreams have no place in the realm of success, of 'survival'. I fear I will not survive, and to think, I was never a fearing man.

#2

DESTINATION.

#1

Here is a man, accomplished, to some degree, and silent for sake of the law.
Bent upon his points, his reasoning's, his immaturity,
he drinks.
Manipulates.
Coerces the woman who loves him
But cannot admit he indeed loves her.
The words he upholds and the actions he desires
lie upon paths of vintage dreams and imagination,
the bright city lights and the dull living room fireplaces.
Where is the wine, my dear? Where?
Where are you, upon some street corner, waiting,
or eagerly awaiting the messenger?
In forfeiture, I know. Dreams
are not what they once were, or were to be.
Six years changes so very much, and why shouldn't it?
The law arrived at my doorstep, I never told you,
I never wanted to hear you cry...
My efforts are not for sake of love, but preservation,
my life is but to escape living, and to embrace a love
I thought I was missing all along.
My passion is for the eloquence of perservation.